K – Keeping it Simple

Photo adapted from mother-1039765_1920 thedanw @ pixabay.com

You ever read something and just find yourself nodding, like “Yeah, I totally get what this person is saying”? I had one of those moments today. The article was titled “Keep it Simple When Introducing Kids to the Outdoors,” and it included a list of things people shouldn’t do when introducing kids to the outdoors (don’t let them play with leeches, for example). After the list, the article ends with this head-nodding gem:

Most of all, just keep it simple and fun.

Well, duh! Why didn’t I think of that? Keep it simple is a mantra for most everything, but for some reason, many of us (yup, I include myself here) overplan when it comes to outdoor activities. When you keep it simple, you’re open to interesting possibilities. You can be spontaneous.

When it comes to getting your family outdoors, keeping it simple should be your goal. If you need some inspiration, check out the ideas at the blogs No Time for Flashcards and Hands On As We Grow.

What simple activities have you used to introduce kids to the outdoors? 

Read more of my Blogging From A-Z Challenge posts: 26 Reasons to Take Your Family Outside. 

F – Failure

Adapted from children-192327_1920_NickThomas @ Pixabay.com

When was the last time you failed at something? How did you handle that failure? Were you disappointed? Frustrated? Angry? Did you quit after you failed—or keep trying?

My guess is that you probably don’t like thinking about your failures. I know I don’t. I’m the kind of person who would rather just not try something to avoid failing miserably. I guess that means I have a fear of failure—but I’m not alone.

Why has failure become such a bad word in American culture? Whether or not we like to admit it, we learn more from our failures than our successes. Failing is actually a critical part of the learning process. As Dr. John Orlando explains,

The military understands the benefits of failure and actually gives soldiers tasks that they know will lead to failure at some point as a part of their training. Similarly, pilots are trained on simulators and given a variety of emergency situations until they fail.

A former mentor of mine told a great story about how when he was starting out as a young lawyer, he won several cases in a row. He got cocky, thinking he was great at his job. It wasn’t until he lost his first case that he started learning the essentials of how to really do his job. When he lost, he went to the members of the jury to ask them what he did wrong—and what he could have done better.

I’m raising a child who does not like to fail. He wants to be the best at everything he does. He cries when he loses. He gets angry with himself when he doesn’t understand something the first time.

As a parent, I want to see my children succeed. I want to see them happy. However, I also understand that now is the time for kids to learn the value of failing. Through failing, we are able to self-assess, redirect, and come back to the task with a stronger plan.

Failure Teaches Resilience

An article in Healthy Children Magazine gives a great definition of resilience and expresses its importance:

In today’s environment, children and teens need to develop strengths, acquire skills to cope, recover from hardships, and be prepared for future challenges. They need to be resilient in order to succeed in life.

With that goal in mind, I’d like to offer my own list of activities parents might engage their children in to teach them to overcome failure and strengthen their resilience:

• Go to a ropes course: If you haven’t ever seen a ropes course (sometimes called a challenge course), you might be surprised at how low-tech they seem. You may see telephone poles with ropes strung between them, a low balance-beam-type thing, hanging logs, or some platforms attached to trees. Ropes courses aren’t about fancy equipment (although the *safety* equipment is very fancy—don’t worry!); they’re about challenging what people (and teams) believe about their own abilities. Failure is part of the challenge. It’s what a person does after failing that makes the difference.
• Go Geocaching: Geocaching is an outdoor GPS “treasure hunt” where participants use coordinates to locate hidden caches. While many caches are easy to find, the degree of difficulty varies, meaning that sometimes you’ll fail at finding the cache. This is a great opportunity to talk about what comes after failure; what could we do the next time to be better prepared to locate the cache?
• Play a new sport: There are some people who are just naturally gifted at sports, but for most of us, playing a new sport means we’re going to fail until we figure it out. Some kids are going to want to give up—or may not even want to try—but this is a chance to discuss ways to overcome failure—using different equipment better sized for the participants, more practice, etc.
• Try an outdoor science experiment: Science is all about failing. It’s about trial and error. Even the best planned experiments fail many times before they succeed (if they ever do). This summer, try some outdoor science experiments. Maybe even set your kids up for failure the first time, allowing them the chance to figure out how to make the experiments succeed.

Failure shouldn’t be a bad word. Failure means we’re trying. Failing gets us one step closer to learning something new and teaches us to be resilient. What have you learned from your biggest failures?

Read more of my Blogging From A-Z Challenge posts: 26 Reasons to Take Your Family Outside. 

C – CHEAP Outside Activities

Adapted from fountain-389423_1920_memyselfaneye @ Pixabay.com

I took my family to see a movie this past weekend. Here’s the damage:
2 Children’s Tickets x $7.50 each = $15
2 Adult Tickets x $8.50 each = $17
Popcorn & Soda = $15
Almost $50 for an hour and a half’s entertainment

Last month, we took the kids to see a Disney on Ice show—their first ever. I thought I got a great deal when I paid only $75 for four tickets. Of course, parking cost another $8. Once we got in the arena, we discovered that to get snacks, we’d have to buy a souvenir, too. You see, if you bought cotton candy, it came with a plastic crown. Drinks came in special collector’s cups. In short, we got just two snacks and spent $24. In case you’re not keeping track, that brings the total to just shy of $110.

My point isn’t to complain about costs here. Each of these experiences was worthwhile, and we budget well for such outings. However, entertainment is expensive!

On the contrary, outside activities are inexpensive—and often free. If you find yourself in need of inspiration to get your family outside today, check out the list below.

Read more of my Blogging From A-Z Challenge posts: 26 Reasons to Take Your Family Outside. 

 

A – Adaptability

Adapted from rain-455120_1920_ChristopherPluta @ Pixabay.com

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar to you:

• You realize at hour four of a six hour drive to your campsite that you’ve left all of the drinks in the refrigerator at home.
• The sunny afternoon walk with your kids is ruined when biting flies descend in swarms.
• The trip to the playground comes to a screeching halt when one of your kids falls off the monkey bars and ends up with a bloody nose.
• Your geocaching adventure turns hostile when you can’t find a single cache.

Unless you’ve had unbelievably good luck, these scenarios are ones you can relate to—and you’ve probably got some outdoor disaster stories that rival the ones on the list (which all happened to my family, by the way). As much as I love the outdoors, it’s unpredictable. However, it’s that unpredictability that can teach an important lesson about ADAPTABILITY.

According to the video produced by Character Trades, “ADAPTABILITY is eagerly embracing a change in plans without complaint. The opposite of ADAPTABILITY is INFLEXIBILITY, holding tightly to something that prevents me from embracing an alternative.”

Okay, but how important is it that our kids learn to be adaptable? After all, we spend most of their young lives teaching them routine, with rules, curfews, and boundaries firmly in place. Why should they need to be adaptable? Here are just two answers to that question:

• In an article titled “How to Demonstrate Adaptability on the Job,” Neil Kokemuller highlights four traits of adaptable people that make them suitable for the 21st century workplace:
  • Adaptable people are able to come up with alternative solutions to problems.
  • Adaptable people accept surprises more easily, making the working environment more productive.
  • Adaptable people easily accept new roles, important in rapidly changing workplaces.
  • Adaptable people show calm and confidence, which helps them make quick decisions.
• In a Journal of Educational Psychology study of 969 Australian high school students, researchers found that “Young people who are more adaptable were more likely to participate in class, enjoy school, be more satisfied with life, have higher self-esteem, and have a more concrete sense of meaning and purpose in life.”

I acknowledge that some kids are just less flexible than others. Some children will balk at the idea of change in any form (and many adults feel the same way, hopefully without the screaming tantrums). It’s true that a child’s personality definitely plays a role, but outside adventures are a great way to teach the benefits of adaptability.

Here are five tips to encourage ADAPTABILITY in kids in an outdoor setting:

1. Discuss adaptability in nature: The natural world is filled with examples of adaptability. Just as chameleons change color when threatened and trees grow deeper roots when water tables are low, the natural world shows us many ways to change, adapt, learn, and grow. The process is rarely a fast one, but nature has much to teach us.
2. Model adaptability: I wrote a post about unrealistic expectations recently. In the process, it occurred to me that by reacting badly when my plans for our family’s outdoor adventures went awry, I was teaching my sons to follow suit. Rather than modeling adaptability, I was showing resistance and inflexibility. As parents, caregivers, and role models, it is our place to teach kids to accept change—not to fight against it.
3. Acknowledge emotions associated with change: For many, change is frightening. We’re more likely to put up with the miserable we know than try something new. Outdoors settings represent an added component to these emotions, heightening fears of failure or worry about “doing it wrong.” However, these outdoor experiences also allow for more flexibility without dire consequences (yes, there are exceptions; I’ll save those for another post on another day): Can’t go on a picnic because it’s raining? Plan a puddle-jumping contest instead. Blow a bike tire in the middle of the family ride? Have a contest while walking back to see who can identify the most birds flying overhead.
4. Think about opportunities afforded by unexpected changes: The idea of a “Plan B” is really a cliche since we discuss it so often, but having a Plan B, an alternative activity, in mind can keep problems in perspective. If something goes wrong, what could you do instead? Often the alternative ends up being as good—if not better—than the original plan.
5. Praise flexibility. If we want to emphasize good behavior—in ourselves or in our children—a quick word of praise goes a long way. “Nice job rolling with the changes!” I’ve said to my sons—or “I’m so glad you decided to try out this trail instead of the one we’d intended.”

A confession: I’m not great at this idea of adaptability. In scenario A at the beginning of this post, the one with all the drinks left at home (for a week-long trip no less!), I fumed in the truck after the discovery. Admittedly, this was a minor issue that was easily remedied with a stop at a convenience store. My sons actually loved the fact they got to choose their own drinks, making that part of the trip better for them than what I’d planned. It was their flexibility that I leveraged later in the trip when it was too cold to do a planned activity and they were upset. “Remember how getting to pick your own drinks was better than what we’d planned?” I asked them. “Let’s think of something else we could do that would make today better.”

The natural world is a great model of adaptability and an excellent teacher, too—if we let it.

What outdoor activity disasters have happened to you and your family? Were you able to be adaptable and save the day?

Read more of my Blogging From A-Z Challenge posts: 26 Reasons to Take Your Family Outside. 

Escaping Expectations

Adapted from Unsplash @pixabay.com

The sun was shining over the weekend, and the unseasonably warm winter temperature reduced the piles of snow in our yard to puddles. As anyone with spring fever might do, I rounded up the family and headed outside to do some geocaching. At first, everything went expected.

We found the first cache with ease, and it felt great to get outside and stretch our winter-weary legs.

It was when we got to the second cache that everything went downhill.

I can’t tell you exactly what the trigger was. Maybe it was the fact tht we couldn’t get the GPS coordinates for the next cache to work. It could have been that my oldest was running through the woods swinging sticks at everything. It’s possible it was my youngest who was bent on destroying as much of the surrounding trees as he could. It may have been my husband who wasn’t helping me with the GPS problem or the kid problem fast enough.

Whatever the reason, I got angry. I yelled at my family and then stomped back to the car. I sulked for the rest of the afternoon. Not a pretty picture.

After calming down, I did some thinking about what went wrong. It wasn’t that I hadn’t planned the day well enough. I’m definitely an overplanner, feeling the need to know just how things are going to go.

That’s when it hit me: My unrealistic expectations got in the way of a great day outside.

If you think about it, an expectation is just a strong belief something will happen the way we anticipate it will. On our outdoor adventures, we expect good weather, for our kids to behave, for the perfect campsite, for a bug-free hike, for a fun-filled vacation… But more often than not, something happens that upends those expectations in a second.

How do you react when things don’t go as you expect?

Are you like I was over the weekend and have a ruined day?

Do you feel disappointed or let down?

Or do you roll with it when the rain drops fall, delighting in the chance to go stomping through mud puddles on your hike?

Managing Expectations

As you can see, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about escaping from expectations this week (at least, the unrealistic ones), and I thought I’d share my take-aways with you so that your family time outside isn’t ruined:

• Plan–yet be flexible. I don’t think planning itself is the problem. Most good outings require some degree of planning. What I sometimes forget, though, is to plan for flexibility. If everything is planned in detail, the littlest thing going wrong can wreck the day. However, if the plan includes some flexibility—like including multiple options or some time to explore and relax—it’s easier to roll with the unexpected.
• Remember you can’t change reality, but you can change how you respond. I’m slowly realizing that happiness isn’t about expectations; it’s about reality, enjoying the moment. I can’t anticipate when the tire will go flat or how much damage a freak hailstorm will do to the camper roof, but I am entirely in charge of how I deal with those situations. Instead of letting them get me upset, I can choose to find the silver lining, making the best of the situation.
• Evaluate how significant the expectation is. I honestly don’t think it’s possible to eliminate all expectations—and maybe it wouldn’t be a good thing if we did. However, some expectations are more reasonable and significant than others. Yael Kaufman wrote in an article titled “How Eliminating Unrealistic Expectations Can Make You a Happier Person” that some expectations are just unnecessary. It’s not easy to do, but we need to be asking ourselves if the day will be *ruined* if the expectation isn’t met. Was my day really ruined after the geocaching debacle? Of course not!
• Acknowledge that unrealistic expectations cause stress. Who needs added stress in his/her life? No one I know, for sure! When we have these expectations for how everything will go, we’re living in the land of worry, anxiety, and stress. We’re focused on events in the future we have little control over. Letting go of those expectations means letting go of some stress—sounds like a good thing to me!
• Become aware of your expectations—so that you can loosen your grip on them. Each of these five “take-aways” overlap, but I think this is the one that overlays all the rest.  The Dalai Lama is quoted as saying, “I am open to the guidance of synchronicity and do not let expectations hinder my path.” It sounds so simple when he says it. The first step to escaping from those unrealistic expectations is to recognize them. It’s hard to stay “in the moment,” though; instead, I’m usually a step ahead, planning—and yes, making expectations. I need to work on awareness of my expectations so they don’t get in the way of living.

Okay, I’ve confessed my embarrassing weekend tantrum and what I’ve learned as a result. Have you ever had these moments where your expectations got in the way of enjoying reality? Any tips?

Why #OutdoorFamilies Matter

I haven’t been able to get this tweet out of my head since I read it this morning:

Because kids don't remember their best day of television. #outdoorfamilies #outfam #getoutdoors… https://t.co/lBi7ZVXd2l

— Outdoor Families Mag (@OutdoorFamMag) February 25, 2016

THIS.

This is why I get off the couch when it’s cold and snowy.

This is why I’m outside in the yard even though the house is a mess.

This is why I pack up the camper over and over all summer long–even though I have a perfectly nice home (that probably needs cleaning).

It’s all about the memories. 

In an article titled “Sharing Memories as Gifts: Treasures to Last a Lifetime” published by Outdoor Families Magazine, Suzanne Solsona gets at this issue of memories when she asks,

Without thinking too much about it: What is your most vivid, cherished memory of childhood? Your teenage years? As an adult?

She argues that those memories are related to what we did–not what we had. I’d go one step further and say that many of my own most vivid memories were about what I did outside. Like the tweet above suggests, when I think of my favorite memories, they aren’t of television or movies (even though I’m a major fan of both). They aren’t about things I did inside at all. Instead, I remember…

• Reading a book by the campfire with my parents on Foote Pond.
• Sleeping on the Lake Huron beach as a teenager (admittedly not all that comfortable).
• Hiking with my son to the top of his namesake mountain–only to realize he’d fallen asleep on the way.
• Seeing amazement on my sons’ faces when they first saw Mt. Rushmore.
• Getting swept up in my kids’ glee as they flew down snow-covered hill on their sleds.

These are the things I remember–and the things I hope my sons remember, too. These memories are the reason my family is an #OutdoorFamily.

What are your reasons for getting outdoors? Are you an #outdoorfamily–or aspiring to be?