Is It Him? – FFfAW52

Below is a piece inspired by the prompt at Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. The key elements were the photo below and a word range of 100-15o (+-25).

** I admit to missing that word-count requirement this week, but I couldn’t decide what to cut–sorry! 

bench park

Thanks, Ady, for the beautiful photo prompt!

Is It Him?  204 words

Lainey leaned around the tree to get a better view. “See anyone?”

“Not yet.” Tara’s face was white beneath makeup applied with precision.

“What time did he say he’d arrive?”

“Five minutes ago.”

“So, he’s late. Not a great start to the relationship.”

“Why did I bring you?”

“You need me. He could be an ax murderer. I’ll protect you.”

“With what—your purse?”

Lainey held up her phone. “I could call 911 if needed.”

“Put your phone away.” Tara said. “He’s not a murderer.”

“Yeah, we may never know if he doesn’t show.”

“He’ll show. We’ve been emailing for weeks.”

“And you’ll know it’s him how? Anyone could plop down on that bench.”

Tara’s face flushed. “He’s carrying a copy of Pride and Prejudice.”

Lainey giggled, one hand over her mouth. “Really? That book? What self-respecting man would carry that?”

“It’s my favorite—Shhh! Someone’s coming!”

“Is it him?”

“I can’t tell,” Tara said, but the butterflies spin-diving in her stomach told her differently.

A tall man with graying hair entered the park from the road, a book beneath one arm.

“There he is, Tara. You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be to meet my father for the first time.”

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21 thoughts on “Is It Him? – FFfAW52

  1. Oooh, cute twist at the end! Love happy twists like that. Personally, I think you could’ve cut out a chunk of the dialogue and condensed in a way that would still show the girls’ playfulness.

    Also, I felt like this description didn’t add much to the story: “Tara’s face was white beneath makeup applied with precision” so that could have been taken out as well.

    Overall though, it’s such a cute story, and I love that you added the Pride & Prejudice nod! Can’t go wrong with a man who reads Pride & Prejudice 😉

    Like

  2. Awwee you had me thinking she was up for a date! (I swear I was recalling my teenage memories of first date) BUT the twist in the end made this story much sweeter than a romantic love story. Great story! I love it. ❤

    Like

  3. Amy, I am really impressed with your blog and the professional way you have displayed your writing. Most of all, the flash writing you did with the photo prompts held me spellbound. I can’t wait to catch up your next posts! It is a pleasure to follow your blog!

    Like

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